The I-Statement Method for Conflict Resolution

A conflict between girls, or between girls and Guiders can quickly derail the fun at our meetings. However, conflicts, and learning to deal with them appropriately, are one of the natural outcomes of group activities.

This can be particularly true in the north, where small communities put us in close contact with the same people in multiple situations - at school, work, and recreational activities. When conflicts arise in our Units, dealing with them calmly, fairly and consistently can help resolve them quickly before they escalate into more serious problems.

One tool for conflict resolution is the use of "I-Statements". This shifts the focus from the assumed thoughts of the listener to the feelings and beliefs of the speaker. Shifting focus to the speaker's thoughts and feelings allows them to make more assertive statements without creating a confrontational tone.

To use I-Statements, ask everyone to complete three simple thoughts:

1) When you ____________________________(describe a specific action that hurt you)
2) I feel ________________________________(say your feeling)
3) Because _____________________________(why the action made me feel this way)

Here’s an example:

Instead of saying "Susie stole my iPod".

1) When you use my iPod without permission,
2) I feel upset,
3) because it was a gift from my Grandmother and I worry about losing it.

To use I-Statements effectively, remember to avoid using people's names (to reduce hurt feelings), focus on the facts and feelings of the current situation, and practice! No one deals with conflict perfectly every time. It is a skill we build through practice, just like any other.

For more on I-Statements, including activities and tips for introducing them in your Unit check out this awesome activity pack from the Girl Scouts USA "Ban Bossy" Program.

Share your tips for conflict resolution in the comments!

Famous 5 Challenge

88 years ago today, a landmark women's rights case gave women in Canada status as "persons" under the law. This case was spearheaded by five prominent women's rights activists, Emily Murphy, Nellie McClung, Henrietta Muir Edwards, Louise McKinney, and Irene Parlby. They became known as the "Famous Five" due to their work advancing women's causes.

The "persons" case began when Emily Murphy's 1916 appointment as the first female magistrate in Canada was challenged on the basis that women were not considered "persons" under the British or Canadian law at the time. The Alberta Supreme Court upheld Emily's appointment as a magistrate, but the experience inspired her to embark on a journey to clarify the legal status of women in Canada.

Emily Murphy's supporters petitioned to have her named to the Senate, but her appointment was declined by Prime Minister Robert Borden on the basis that women were not considered "persons" under the British North America Act of 1867.

The Famous Five appealed to the Supreme Court of Canada in 1927 for clarification on the status of women as "persons". When the Supreme Court ruled against them, they appealed to a higher authority, the Privy Council. On October 18, 1929, the Privy Council ruled that women were "persons", opening the door for them to hold public office, own property, and access countless other rights that had previously belonged only to men.

To learn more about the Famous Five, the "Persons Case", and what it meant for women's rights in Canada, check out the Alberta Council "Famous Five Challenge" and supplementary activities.

For an entertaining presentation on the Famous Five from a girl's perspective, check out this video by one of our Hay River members, a winner in the 2016 Government of Canada's Young Citizen's competition.

International Day of the Girl

image credit: Girl Guides of Canada

October 11 is International Day of the Girl. The Girl Guides of Canada has marked the occasion with the publication of a thought-provoking survey about social challenges facing girls in Canada.

Girl Guides of Canada CEO, Jill Zelmanovits discussed the study in an article for the Huffington Post. Global Calgary has a live interview available here (on Facebook).

Full results of the study are available from the Girl Guides of Canada website.

What do you think about this survey? How can we as Guiders/parents/role models help girls address these issues? Comment below!

Facilitated Online Training Sessions

The Alberta-NWT-Yukon Trainers are going virtual this fall. In addition to face-to-face and teleconference training, our intrepid team is developing and delivering interactive online sessions using Adobe Connect. This is great news for Guiders in the Northwest Territories (and elsewhere) because it will allow us to take training sessions from our own homes, while still offering the benefits of interacting with a "live" facilitator and other participants.

Online sessions are being developed and offered for high-demand modules first, including Safe Guide, All About Your Branch - Sparks, All About Your Branch - Brownies, and Building Unit Guider Skills.

For a full list of upcoming training sessions and registration options, check out the Training page on the Alberta Girl Guides website.

I am really excited about the potential this new tool has for us in the north, and am working hard to build my skills in developing and delivering content using online methods. What type of training would you like to see offered this way?

Welcome!

This is the new home for a collection of ideas and resources I have accumulated in over 30 years as a member of the Girl Guides of Canada. Some of this material will be familiar, as it was originally created by me when I was the Northwest Territories-Nunavut Program Adviser and website coordinator.

My focus these days is on supporting other adult members to deliver great programming across the Northwest Territories, and I am looking for new methods and tools to make that happen.

I will be converting many of my old web pages to this new platform over the next few weeks and months, as well as posting a backlog of newer ideas that I have never put online before. So check back often, and comment here with any requests or suggestions!

Eileen

Getting a Great Start

Fall (winter) is in the air, everyone is settling into their school year routines, and Guiding groups are having their first few meetings of the "new" year. Whether you are a new Guider, new to your Unit, or are returning to familiar faces and places, the first few meetings of the fall are an opportunity to set the tone for the rest of your year. Good communication and collaboration between girls and Guiders in these weeks will set you up for a great year!

Here are my top three tips for getting started:

1) Establish clear boundaries and "rules" for behaviour together.

• Review the Girl Guides of Canada Code of Conduct
• Remind everyone that the rules apply to adults as well as girls, and we want to make sure that everyone feels safe and respected when we are together.
• Create a personalized version of the Code of Conduct that works for your group, using words and ideas meaningful to your girls and leaders.
• Use your personalized Code of Conduct to guide the development of specific rules if necessary.
• Keep the wording of any rules or conduct statements positive.

2) Create a familiar structure for your meetings.

• Develop a loose agenda that incorporates elements you want to do every week.
• Include a mixture of self-guided/small group activities and high-energy or large group items.
• A commonly used structure for many groups is gathering activity, patrol/circle time, group opening, high energy activity (games), group program activity, transitional activity (songs or self-guided activities such as puzzles), closing.
• Adjust the structure to suit the age and preferences of your girls and leaders. For many years, my Guide Unit used the girls' patrol time as our "gathering activity". The girls chose and planned their own activities for the start of meetings and would work on them for 20-30 minutes each week while the Guiders circulated between their groups and set up for our group program activities. This structure worked well for us, but might not be right for younger girls or even other Guide Units. I will probably be writing more about this method of structuring Guide meetings in future posts, so stay tuned!

3) Plan together for long and short-range goals.

• Engage your girls in age-appropriate planning activities, but keep the planning sessions short. The start of the year is the perfect time to look for general input about their likes and dislikes. Use this input to develop a long-range plan for your year. For example, if "sleepovers" are high on the list of things the girls love, pick a month when you will have one. If your leaders are up for it, pick one month in the first half of the year, and one in the second!
• Use your long-range plan to decide when additional planning sessions will be necessary.
• Plan for special events in a separate session for each event. Don't try to combine event planning and meeting planning in one session.
• Plan for multiple meetings in one session (a month or several months at a time).
• Increase the level of detail in your plans for things that are coming up sooner. A detailed plan should clearly identify all the specific elements that are required to make an activity successful. Examples include who is responsible for each part of the activity, what materials are required, and any advance preparation required.
• Regularly review your medium and long-range plans to make sure you are staying on track with respect to your goals. 
• Provide opportunities for the girls to give feedback after individual activities, and on their overall experience at several times throughout the year.

For more information and ideas on establishing good communication and teamwork within your Unit, sign up for a Girl Guides of Canada TEAM session on "Building Unit Guider Skills". In future posts, be sharing instructions for some specific activities I have used in my own Units in the past.

Do you have a great "Getting Started" tip for other Guiders?
Or a request for ideas or activities on this or any other topic?
Post a comment below!